What is it that makes it so hard for people to talk to each other?

Have you ever wonder why sometimes it is just hard to talk to someone? Have you ever encountered a situation where you don’t feel like opening up to someone even though that someone is your friend or your relative, someone you know? What are the factors that make two individuals unable to communicate and open up? The only answer which I think would be appropriate would be the gaps between two individuals, specifically the generation gap and the distance gap.

The generation gap between two individuals would best explain why it is hard for both of them to communicate. It is evident that the young and the old do not communicate well because they are from different generations. A person who was born in a world of hip hop will certainly won’t share the same interest as a person who was born in a world of classical music. Clashes of interests are bound to happen and this would create a situation where it is hard to talk to each other. In the movie A Thousand Years Of Good Prayers, Mr Shi is having a difficult time talking to his daughter, Yi Lan due to the generation gap between them. Mr Shi keeps invading her personal space by asking details of her life and to the young Yi Lan, she is somehow irritated and this further put a strain on their communication. In this example, we can see that Mr Shi do not understand the young daughter of his. He presumes everyone like to chat about their personal lives as elder people do but he was wrong. Younger generation does not like their personal space being invaded. This reflects on how two different generations do not understand each other. If both would be happy to sit down and learn more about each other and find a common interest maybe then only communication would happen.

When two persons do not talk or see each other for a very long time, divided by distance or time, it would be hard for them to talk as how they used to if they meet up after a long period. This is what has been experienced by Mr Shi and his daughter. They have not seen each other for 12 years and this somehow affects their communication in a way. Awkwardness is so evident that they do not look into each other eyes when they speak as shown in the movie. When an engine of a car not maintained, it will bring trouble and ended up not functioning eventually. The same concept applies to communication. You need to maintain the communication even though you are separated by distance and time. This maintenance will certainly maintain the level of openness between two individuals so that awkwardness will not happen.

In essence, the best way to break down emotional war is to do something about it. One needs to speak up and approach the other party to break down the barrier between them. Only so the silence would be ripped apart and hopefully joy and laughter could be heard.

new timteable finally :P

Okay here is the long awaited new timetable for the second semester :P

Monday

9.00 – 11.00 Applicable maths (A512)

11.00 – 1.00 Physics (physics lab)

2.30 – 4.30 EALD (B607)

Tuesday

9.00 – 11.00 Economics (A512)

1.00 – 3.30 Chemistry (B607)

Wednesday

11.00 – 12.30 Chemistry (A512)

1.30 – 3.30 Economics (B607)

Thursday

11.00 – 1.00 EALD (A512)

1.30 – 3.30 Physics (B607)

3.30 – 5.30 Applicable maths (B607)

Friday

NO CLASS!!!!!

thanks to hazman for the picture of the timetable :P

The format to write a letter( important)

Attention to all architecture 2 students, below is the format of a sample letter. It might be useful during the exams hence mr. derrick gave me this nevertheless. The reason I share it out in the blog is because I’m kinda lazy to photocopy it and I don’t think I can give it out to everyone in time. Hence, if you read this please tell the others to check it out ok.

Gerwin Institute of Mental Health

University of Townsland ( address of sender)

Brisdale, Queensland 24938

(leave a line)

14 SEPTEMBER 2008(date line)

(leave a line)

Thames Bookshop

358, Main Street(address of recipient)

Acacia, Queensland 39842

Dear Sir/Madam,/ Mr. Lim,/Editor(salutation)

Quotation for Textbooks (subject :optional)

Use block style( No indentation of first line)

Leave a line between paragraphs

Thank you.

Yours sincerely,/faithfully,

Signature

Mr./Miss (full name)

H.P. no. :

E-mail :

an inconvinient truth

From a distance, I knew it was him albeit he was surrounded by a field of people who are in a hustle. His jet black, long hair was swaying in synchronicity with the rhythm of the strong, harsh November wind. I smiled. He was still the same person I knew from the start, from the way he dresses, as if he was on his wedding day has never failed to impress me. Professionalism. That’s what he told me when I questioned him on the way he dresses. In this modern age, first impression comes first. Whenever you meet someone new, the first thing they will do is to evaluate you from top to bottom, comprising of what shirt are you wearing, what pants are you wearing, or maybe assess the way you smile and also to some extent the color of your skin. It dawned on me that whatever he said was completely true, notwithstanding I have always abide by the phrase “do not judge a book by its cover” because I do not want others to perceive me by their first impression towards me and I would not do the same.

He noticed me after a while, waving towards me enthusiastically. His wide, dimply smile really showed that he was extremely excited to see me after a year we were being separated by distance and also time. He was carrying a large, grey bulgy luggage and a small bag with him. In a split second, the next thing I knew he hurriedly jogs over to me with eager and at the same time, I walked faster towards his direction. When we were only separated by a few steps away, he almost literally jumped on me. With his belongings dropped down on the floor, he opened his arms as wide as he could and I ended up in a tight warm embrace. I asked how is he and he replied with a big smile that he was fine and happy to meet me. No matter how hard he tried to hide it, I knew he was having the same problem when I glanced through his troublous, gloomy eyes.

Then, I suggested to him that why don’t we find a place to sit to have a chat and our lunch at the same time. He nodded in agreement. I brought him to a nice café across the station where it was famous for its scrumptious local delicacies. After the waiter left upon taking our orders, we started our conversation. He told me his experience working overseas, the culture, food and also the weather. At some point, he stopped for a while before continuing his story. I realized that he was trying hard to censor his words and story so that everything that came out from his mouth was a happy story. I knew him long enough to know that he is that kind of person who bottled up everything within for he do not want others to be sad or be burdened with his sadness and problems. The waiter came back with our orders a few minutes later and stood beside our small square table with no intention to leave. I was confused at that moment, staring at the face of the waiter. From his looks, he was waiting for something. Suddenly, Bryan took out a 5 dollar note and gave to the waiter who then walked away happily.

I was baffled. The last time I came here, none of the waiter waited for a tip. Bryan told me that it was normal in overseas. Maybe the time has changed. With the bad recession, it’s probably normal for them to ask for tips to support themselves. I sighed when I came to realize how bad the recession that’s flooding the country now was. Everything seemed overly priced now. No doubt, I felt the pinch too. Realizing that I was in my own world and he was looking at me, I apologized and we continued chatting about what had happened for the past year.

As we were chatting I can’t help but noticed that many eyes were staring at our table. I started to feel uncomfortable. Bryan was happily chatting away. He hasn’t noticed. Trying to conceal my uneasiness I faked a smile, something that I wasn’t born to do and he noticed it. What’s wrong? , he asked. Nothing, I replied but he doesn’t buy it. Soon, I was pouring out my agitation towards those people who kept glancing at our table to Bryan. He seemed relax and totally cool about it. I asked why was he so relaxed about it and then I found out the inconvenient truth. The truth that did not only bothers me but also to him.

Looking at my watch it was already 1 p.m. I need to rush back to work. I told him I will meet him again later for dinner and offered to fetch him to his home but he insisted that he wanted to go back by himself. Hence, I quickly put on my coat and walked out from the café with him and we shook our hands before parting ways. We both said goodbye.

***********************

As I walked to my car, I wondered can a deaf mute like Bryan get home safely. I told myself not to worry, for he has his ways and he was able to survive till today. I then drove off to my workplace anticipating tonight’s dinner.

***********************

another story of mine. this was not like how i wanted. i didn't manage to give an impact to the reader. i just can't tell the story but that's my best.

hell is not like what you think

I was in daze. I’m in complete darkness. I can’t see a thing. How did I get here? Where am i? I stood up and started walking, hands reached out. I was disappointed, I can’t feel the wall. I’m confused. Then, I shouted for help and there was no reply. In fact, there was not even an echo of my shouting. I stopped and think. Why was there no echo and no walls? Where am i? I try to put things together. Where am I before I was here and what was I doing. But nothing came out of it. I just can’t remember.

I started to feel anxious. I was never afraid being alone in the dark, but this. This is different. There is something eerie about this place. No matter how far I walked, no matter how loud I shouted for help i knew I was alone. And that’s the scariest part. Where am i? the more I questioned ‘where am I’, the more frustrated I became. That feeling. Argh. That feeling. I don’t like it. I can’t describe it and I can’t take it anymore. Then , I started shouting and crying hysterically. My masculinity level dropped to zero. I was powerless.

My tantrum didn’t last long. Soon, I was sobbing and hugging my legs together. Waiting. I don’t know what I’m waiting for but I was waiting. Only god knows how long I waited. It seems forever but I dared not to close my eyes for even one second. I was afraid. But I don’t know what I was afraid of. There I was, hugging myself and eyes wide opened, like a prey looking out for predators, hoping to catch a glimpse of anyone. Anyone at all.

After a period of time, my eyes felt weak. I can’t hold on any longer. I was not only tired, I was hungry and thirsty too. Fasting was nothing compared to this. It’s as if I was about to die and at that very moment I was relieved. I thought maybe to die now is a good thing. I don’t have to suffer anymore. to die was the last thing I used to wish for but during that very moment, to die is like the route to heaven.

Suddenly, I heard whispering. I stood up quickly, alert, trying to find out where it came from. Then, I heard it again. I heard like a lot people were whispering but I cannot catch what they were saying. I called out for help but no one answered. I ran towards the sound but after running for a while the whispering stopped. I stopped too. Quiet. Everything was quiet again. What is this? Is this some kind of joke? The whisperings gave me hope. There must be people here. They should know where is this place and why am I here. I started walking. Slowly this time trying not to be heard.

Then I heard giggles. It soon burst into laughter. From the sound of it I knew it was a mean laugh. The laugh when we ridicule people or when we say serves you right. It won’t stop. I’m starting to feel irritated. Who are they? Why are they laughing at me like this? Are they the one responsible bringing me here? Argh! My ears! My mind! Their laughter just won’t stop. I closed my ears, as tight as I can but it’s in my head now. I can’t stop it. I’m going berserk.

STOP! JUST STOP! I shouted and everything went back to silence. I looked ahead but everything was as dark as a cave and as silence as a grave. Creepy. Something was wrong. I was confused. Where are they? How can they hide so fast? Are they playing hide- and- seek with me? I’m certainly not in the mood to play. I just want to go home.

Home. The word keep playing in my head. Where are my parents, how are they? I can hardly remember when was the last time I went HOME. It struck me then, maybe this is my punishment. Maybe god wants me to deserve this. Maybe I’m in hell. The silence, the darkness, the loneliness. this is definitely hell.

The next thing that happened was dazzling. Suddenly, burst of white light was all around me. My eyes were blinded and I close my eyes. While I was closing my eyes I heard the chirping of birds and the wind was blowing onto my face. I was curious so I lifted up my eyelids and to my surprise I was lying on the college field. I looked around and I saw a few kookaburras on the tree branches. The leaves were swaying and making a whispering like sound. I let go a sigh of relief. It was just a bad dream I told myself. I then walked back to my hostel in confusion. How I happen to be lying on the field is still a mystery until today.

***************

Above is a story that I made up. It’s not real but I hoped you can feel the feeling I was trying to portray. I’m not good at writing but I really can’t find what to blog so I made up a story instead.

Did you guessed that the whispering sounds were made by the trees and the laughing were made by the kookaburras? Do you want to listen to a kookaburra laugh? Click on the video below.

what was the feeling you get? did you imagine the laughter was like this ? now can you feel what i feel when i explained the mean laughter ?



i used to write narrative essays during secondary. in exams i will only do narrative because by narrating i can decide how the story goes. this might also explain why i'm very bad at writing formal essays.
till here then.

three tips on how to stay away from stress!

Sorry for the delay in posting up a post. Life is busy nowadays. And I’m not fretting unlike everyone else. I’m sorry, but to me , I’ve learned that life is more than just to fret. Busy is good. Yes it does. Think positive. Don’t make busy as an excuse to fail. Yes, I felt the pinch staying up all night and slept for three hours for three consecutive days, but that doesn’t stop me from being happy about it. I had fun! Yes, it’s stressful. It IS fun to be in stress now than before. As before this, mainly before my life in KBU, I’m an easygoing, laid-back person. Early this year, I felt stress for the first time and honestly I can’t cope with that stress in my head that are trying to blow up my brain at first. But with every subsequent dose of stress, I felt numb and i’m actually okay with it. It’s like anesthetic. I’ve learn to live with it not to run away from it. What I can say is that I have adapted in a world of stress.

Okay, you might be wondering am I crazy or what? Adapted to a world of stress???? If that is true, then I’ll be the happiest person in the world. Bullshit.

Well, it might not be true that I’m the happiest man on earth but I’m finding my way and learning to be one. The first step is to change my mind set. Think positive . I know it’s hard to think positive every time but at least try to do it, try to tell yourself maybe it’s not a bad thing after all. Maybe it’s a good thing. Even though when there are times you know it’s a bad thing. But I think by keeping positive at all times , I am able to be more rationale and calm when a bad thing happens to me or when I’m down .

Secondly, my will to change. Now you will be saying,” right, another bullshit . will to change??come on. Don’t joke around.” I’ve noticed that each and every one of us has thought of change, be it to change from a lazy person to a more hardworking one, to change the spoiled clock on the wall, or to change the way you think. But all that remained as a thought. No action. Some people said it’s impossible to change; this is because their mind set is that to change means to change instantly. For example, a smoker had thought of quitting because of his friends and family tells him too. He also knows that in health terms it is killing him. But why can’t he quit when he tried? This is because he only quit for a day and he expects in one night, the desire or the hunger to smoke will banish. The next morning he woke up he realized the hunger was still there, so he said to himself: “hmph, I can’t change after all” and continued smoking. The moral here is, Rome was not build in one day. If you had made the effort to change for a day why not put in more effort to change for the next day and the day after next and the day after after next? Don’t stop until you notice a change and when you do notice a change, keep on going changing yourself even better. The process of learning and changing for the better never stops. Never.

Thirdly, it is imperative that I have a good time management skills. Notice that I said it is imperative? This means I have not acquired this ability yet which is to manage my time wisely. How I wish I could be Hiro Nakamura in the Heroes series so that I could stop time and travel to the future or the past trying to change what I did or what I will do. But I know it’s not going to happen so I need to learn and fast if not, I’ll be left behind time.

That’s all about some tips on how to deal with stress from my point of view. Although I have not achieve completely what I talked about but I know that are the guidelines I should follow and you should too!

Hopefully I did spark some light on those who felt like they were on the verge of breakdown and would commit suicide.

Wait a minute, I heard you say : “Piece of crap. Easier said than done. Donkey.” And my reply would be : “hey, when do you actually want to try to change?? “

what is the right mindset?

what is the right mindset?

what are we trained for since young?
study hard, get into a good university and eventually get a good job?

have you heard your parents said:

"go to school and be an entrepreneur?"

sadly enough that is not what we have been trained for.Our society, namely Asians, have this mindset that life is just about studying, get into a good uni and get a good job, not forgetting also to get a good family.

this mindset is being passed on generations by generations from the last 20 decades or more, no one knows for sure. what are the implications from it? Well one thing for sure, a whole stereotype generations will be born and no one dares to takes risk to be an entreprenuer. Taking risks are considered as serious as taking drugs for some in our society. You could harm yourself by taking drugs(risks,in this context).

Our society have been brain-washed that to fail is the last thing you want to do in life. To fail means suicide. To fail means to degrade not only your name and family honour. But to fail will never means to learn from mistakes and be better.

Do you realize how often do you hear suicide cases in the news or in the newspaper?

“Most suicides in the world occur in Asia, which is estimated to account for up to 60% of all suicides. According to the World Health Organization, China, India and Japan may account for 40% of all world suicides. “ ..Wikipedia

Although the factors that contributes to suicide are many, but I’m sure that a bigger percentage of it is because of the “cannot fail” mentality. As I said before, we, Asians, are trained not to fail and to some extent, not to be a failure. Teenagers and adults both commit suicide regardless of race. Teenagers commit suicide because when their parents put high hopes on them and in the end they could not performed as expected, this forces them to take the easy path, away from agony and humiliation they might get. Adults, also face failure but not in their teens. Maybe they have not gone through failure before and believe me this is what makes suicides prevalent. Most adults that commit suicide are those who are unemployed or those who failed in their business. The fact that they have never failed before and when they actually did, it is unacceptable to them and hence the only way to avoid living around humiliation and disgrace is to move on to the other “world” where no one knows them.

What I’m trying to say is that our society need to change our way of thinking. We need to be given the freedom to do what we like and not just blindly do something that we feel obliged to. Sad to say, I’m one of the consequences from this mindset. My path was chosen and the road I’m on now will never diverged.( I love drawings and designs, and if given a chance whether to do architecture or design, I’ll choose design. But because the government only offer scholarships for critical profession, so I only can say “ come to me, Architecture” rather than “ here I come, Architecture”. If you get what I mean.

*******************

Anyway today I went to KLIA to send off seniors that fly to UNSW. KLIA is such a huge place. The feelings I felt were indescribable. Will I be able to be here, next year this time around? Or will I’ll be here stranded alone in an island watching the only ship sails away? I wonder……

the environment at the luggage counter

me and Germae

franky and a senior( i don't know her name )

the sign board

wah

departure list

sydney where they are going

when only i can go there?


before I leave, i took this where all the scholars gathers

goodbye!!!!


blog response on this post:

http://youngbanana.blogspot.com/2009/02/re-what-is-right-mindset.html

http://ryukid.blogspot.com/2009/02/re-what-is-right-mindset.html

and if there is anyone else doing a post on this please so let me know ya :)